-TRIGGER WARNING: DO NOT READ IF THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, OR THINGS OF THE SORT BOTHER YOU, THERE IS HOPE AND PEOPLE LOVE YOU. THIS IS SIMPLY ART OK.-
I don't know what I'm doing really, writing this. Why should I leave anything at all? It's not like it will matter. Maybe it does to you, but Then again how would I know. We don't talk much anymore. That aside, I tried. I really, tried. I tried to look on the bright side I tried to suck it up and push forward but I'm just not built for that. I can't go on anymore living like this. I sit, and I try, and I try and I try but it has never been enough, has it. I tried to help. I really did. but It didn't do much in the end now did it.
What's the use in trying when it only brings you pain and you're just going to die anyway? If you get to escape reality with those bracelets I guess I'll just escape it my way, the only way I see how. Don't try and tell me there's an escape or a second option because there isn't. I'm done. I'm done being alive and I'm done waking up in the morning just to see the polluted clouds. I'm done being alive and waking up in the morning and walking outside and feeling the cold of an unforgiving existence bite at my nose. I'm done having my head filled with the fluid thoughts of my liquefied brain that slosh around inside of my skull every time I turn my head.
The thoughts have eroded everything that was once inside of me to a point where there's nothing left, if there was anything in there to begin with. I used to be able to get rid of the thoughts. They would flow through my head to my eyes and out my tear ducts and afterwards I could be myself again. My mind would be my own, but something jammed up the tear ducts and then the thoughts would only come up my throat and out my mouth and down into the toilet where they belonged. But then I stopped eating. I couldn't eat anymore. It hurt too much to put any more of the world into my system I already had enough. So then I would let the thoughts out my wrists and thighs, I'd stop them last minute before they drained me entirely but I don't see why I did now. even that wasn't enough. Nothing was ever enough. the thoughts would never drain out and they just built up and built up and built up and I can't take it anymore. I'd tell you what they are but telling someone the thoughts would be unfair to them. They'd start hurting too and the chain would just continue. So I'm going to stop it short.
I'm doing this for me because I can't take it anymore, and I hope with me off your shoulders you can ditch mom and dad and go find someplace nice to live, maybe wherever you disappear to with those bracelets. And I'll admit it, you're the stronger twin. You'll be better than me. Extraordinary, even. Make your world better than what mine was, I know you will. I just can't be there to see it. Good luck Gemini, you'll need it.
Gemini Saph Astraea"
My Boye is tired.
he need sleeps.
art and character by this boi
story by vegetal normie and yours truly